Wednesday, August 09, 2006


Snakes Alive!

I should have been packing to go to the Romance Writers of Australia conference tomorrow. Instead, I was battling a snake in my kitchen.

I came home from dropping my little boy at his gran's on the other side of town. When I walked into the kitchen, I noticed one of his baby photos had fallen from the shelves above the kitchen sink (cue spooky music). I shrugged and put it back, went and checked my email.

Heard a crash from the kitchen. This time, it was one of my husband's football trophies (which he insists on putting on display among my ornaments as a tongue-in-cheek sort of joke). Looked up to where it had been and there was the snake.

Now, I wasn't overly worried. It looked like a green tree snake to me. Not deadly or anything, though I understand they can give a nasty bite. But I didn't like the thought of letting that snake out of my sight until my husband came home to deal with it. And yes, I am a wimp, perfectly happy to file getting snakes out of the house under the heading 'man's work'. Besides, my husband grew up in semi-rural area, whereas I'm a suburban girl through and through. I called him at work, and that's when I started to worry. I said, 'It's a tree snake. It's fine.' He said, 'So you're a snake expert now? It could be anything, don't go near it.'

So now I was spooked. I couldn't take my eyes off it in case it scuttled off into some other part of the house. And besides, I needed to start getting dinner ready and I really didn't want to be chopping vegetables with a snake hanging like the Sword of Damocles over my head. Eventually, I couldn't stand it any more. I opened the window next to the snake and tried to shoo it out with a broom. I swear, the thing turned its head and stared at me with utter contempt. Half an hour and buckets of nervous tension later, it had moved a few inches to the right. Finally, I got most of it out the window and pushed up the window until it was almost shut, not wanting to crush Mr. Snakey's tale. And what did he do? Used my soft-heartedness against me and eased his way back in.

Now I was mad. Using two broom-handles, I tried to pick him up to get him out the window, but he dropped neatly into a pot plant on the kitchen bench. I picked up the planter and got it quickly outside, onto the veranda. And that's where he is now, flicking his nasty little tongue and plotting how to get back in. So if you don't hear from me for a while...

5 comments:

Denise Rossetti said...

OMG!!!! You are one intrepid writer! Pretty good for a city chick!
Mind you, the image of a snake hanging like a wriggly Sword of Damocles bothers me for lots of reasons... some zoological, some literary, some to do with antivenene...
Denise {{trembling}}

Christine Wells said...

I think I was motivated to be brave largely by fear. Not sure that makes sense, but you know what I mean!
c

Anonymous said...

Wow! I can't believe it--the same thing happened to me on Friday, except it was a rattlesnake (about 3 feet long) and it was in my garage, right beside the game table my sons had been playing with all afternoon. It curled around and hissed and rattled and struck at me! I wasn't nearly as brave as you, I grabbed my children and ran out of there screaming and crying, I'm sorry to say! Which got them screaming and crying and we were a 4-person screaming, crying mess for a while there. LOL. I never knew I was THAT afraid of snakes. So we called animal control, but of course I hadn't been smart enough to think of closing the garage, and they couldn't find it.
Anyway, I am in awe. You are a brave, brave woman!
Jennifer

Christine Wells said...

Jennifer, if it had been a rattle snake (OMG!!!), I would have had exactly the same reaction as you:-)

Anonymous said...

I think the thought of a snake can be worse than the snake. My cats used to bring green tree snakes in the house regulary. I've locked them in the laundry and bathroom for the hubby (who is no better than me). I've also watched the cats fight over one while I sat on the kitchen bench. The snake lost. I just wish the one who lived in the roof would move back in and get rid of the mice - they are literally eating the woodwork.